From the Depths
by Rainy D
Summary: Ken shivers. This place drove him to the brink of insanity and he decides coming back hasn’t helped. (shounen ai, swearing) (3/?)
1. Chapter One

From The Depths

Disclaimer - I dun be ownin' that there Digimon.

A/N – Sort of a collection of stream of thoughts, but with some kind of plot in it. After the crest of kindness is found, but before any jogress shinkas. And I hate the fact they're all like 11, so Davis and Ken are 13 and 14 respectively. Oh, it's angsty, by the way. What else did you expect from me?! Read angst. It feeds the soul.

He still haunts me. He _hunts_ me. I can't escape. He's always there, watching, waiting for me to trip and show my weakness. But I won't let him see. Not him, not anyone. I'm hiding. Hiding from myself.

A sharp noise makes me look up. A digimon, standing in front me. She holds out her hand. I don't know what to do. I take it. She leads me someplace far from where I was. I feel so tired and fall onto the floor, exhausted. She talks to me, soothing words, telling me that everything is alright. I let myself open up to her embrace.

_Foolish child. Can't you see she's manipulating you?_

_She might be._

_She's using you. I can see it._

_Perhaps. What does she want?_

_Not you, that's for sure. Me, maybe._

_You are dead. She can't want you._

_I'm not dead. Just waiting._

_You always say that._

_I always mean it._

She takes me further into her maze. An empty room. I sit. I feel so relaxed. She whispers again. It's clear now. I was wrong. I always am. Perhaps he will leave me alone now.

_You can't get rid of me._

_I know._

_I'll follow you until you die._

_I know._

_That may be sooner than you think._

_...I know._

// A month later…//

Okay. I give up. I have no idea what's wrong with Ken. He flinches every time anyone goes near him and practically jumps a mile if we touch him. He keeps looking around worriedly, as if he thinks someone's following him, and he stays hunched and low. 

 I'm going to talk to him now. I'm on the way. Take the stairs two at a time. Ring on the bell.

"Hello Mrs. Ichijouji," Bow slightly. "Is Ken in?"

She's gone to get him. Here he is.

"Ken, can I talk to you?"

He wrings his hands and glances around again.

"S-sure Daisuke."

That's another thing. He keeps talking in this stuttery voice. Hmm, I guess I'm being a *little* hard on him. He did only just find out that he'd been torturing and killing innocent creatures for fun. 

"Uh, I thought we could go somewhere more private?"

"H-here is fi-fine, Daisuke…"

I grab his hand. Loudly, "We're just going out Mrs. Ichijouji! Be back in about an hour!"

Good, it's ok. Ken looks horrified. "We-we can't! He-" I stop and stare at him. He looks at the floor. Then he kind of stumbles forward (almost as if he's being pushed?) and murmurs "N-nothing…"

*

He drags me (literally) to the park.

_Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we-_

_Shut up!_

He stands in front of Daisuke, who walks straight through him, but I just bump into him. 

"Come on, Ken!"

_God, stand up for yourself, wimp!_

_I'm not a wimp._

_You just keep telling yourself that, Ken-chan._

He pats my head annoyingly and I try and bat him away, but he just floats in front and sticks his tongue out at me.

_Can't catch me!_

_Go away, we're here now, just leave me-_

He stops dead, and I manage to dodge round him, still following Daisuke. 

_She's coming Ken. She's hungry._

_I'll never go back to her._

_You can't stop her Ken! You can't!_

He's shouting now, ignoring the people walking through him.

_She'll come for you! And then you'll be sorry! I'm a good boy, I am, very…very good…_

And he disappears.

*

I sit him down under the nearest tree and look at him sternly. It's strange; something seems to have lifted from his eyes…But anyway. Back to business.

"Right Ken, I'll get to the point, lately you've been…Well, _weird."_

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time."

He's all...floaty. I don't like it. 

"You can't just say that! I want an explanation. Why Ken? What's wrong?" I put my hands firmly on his shoulders. "I care about you Ken."

He leans his head on one of my hands and giggles. Yes, _giggles. I stare at him in disbelief as he slowly pulls off one of my gloves and places my hand on his cheek. "Your hands are soft Daisuke…" _

I pull away as if he was red hot. "What the hell are you doing Ken?!" It's like his brain flew out the window!

"'M just being friendly." He looks, dare I say it, cute, with his hair in front of his puppy dog eyes.

"Oh." I can't really think of anything to say, because I don't know if I mind or not.

Then, with no warning at all, he shoots up, dead straight, and whispers "He's coming."

That heavy, misty look comes back into his eyes, and I rush over to him, shaking him roughly. "Ken! Ken, what's wrong?"

*

_Ooh, did I interrupt something?_

I clench my fist.

_Why can't you just fuck the hell off sometimes?_

_Touchy._

_You never leave me alone!_

He suddenly flew towards me, taking Daisuke's place with his hands on my shoulders. 

_I CAN'T Ken, you seem to forget that fact sometimes. Dear god, how I wish I could just go, with your incessant whining, 'Why does everyone hate me?' Oh, why doesn't Daisuke love me?' It isn't MY fault Ken, is it? It's your fucking fault for doing the things you did! THAT'S why you're stuck with me Ken, because of YOU!_

I slump down.

_H-how…? How did you know?_

_I can hear your thoughts Ken, I live in your head._

"Ken?"

_Go away…_

_I'm not saying anything!_

_Huh?_

"Ken? God Ken, are you okay? Talk to me?"

"D-Daisuke?"

"Ken, I thought I'd strangled you or something!"

He hugs me tightly. It takes me a while to gather my senses, and then I put my arms around him and cry softly into his shoulder.

"Don't do that!"

He laughs. I think he's crying too, but I'm not sure.

_She wants to talk to you._

He looks at me sternly over Daisuke's shoulder.

_I'm not going._

_She'll come to you…If you don't go to her._

_She won't find me._

_She will if I tell her._

*

Ken suddenly shoots back away from me. His eyes are different again. Now there's fear in them. 

"Ken, what-?"

"You've got to go!"

"What?"

"You've got to leave! Go Daisuke, run!"

"What is it?!" I say, grabbing him roughly. He pulls back again, sharply, slapping my hand.

"GO!" He shouts, then stumbles back, screaming and clutching his head. A few people stare at us. His screams pierce the air. 

*

It hurts so bad! He's bringing someone, the link isn't big enough! Oh god, stop, leave me alone! I fall to the grass in pain. Daisuke's shouting at me, but I can't hear him. All I can hear are the screams, all I can feel is the pain. 

…It's going now…He's either given up or made it through. I think he's coming. He is. He's coming…

"Hello, Ken-chan."

No…No it can't be…It's-

"K-Kara?"

She grins, letting go of the Kaiser's hand. "Ken-chan! I'm so glad you haven't forgotten me!" She jumps into my arms, and I melt. I stand up, smiling softly at her.

"How could I forget you, you little cutie?" I said, ruffling her hair. The evil…it's darker, I think. She jumps down and I get a proper look at her. There are two massive dents in her leg, chunks of soft wood ripped right out. She must have had one of her turns and gone crazy with the axe again. She notices me staring. "Your leg…" I whisper.

She glances up at me sadly. "I did wrong." She said, her voice full of sorrow. "Tekki punishes me when I do bad."

Tekki. I haven't heard that in a while, and it sends shivers down my spine. It's her name for the evil half of her. Tekki hardly ever comes out when I'm around.

"What did you do?" I ask quietly.

"Bad." She says again. "I picked one of Mamma's roses. Tekki pulled my hair and said I shouldn't. But it was so pretty! So I picked it right up and put it in some water. But Mamma saw and knocked it over. She shouted at us. Tekki took me outside with the tree axe and she…she…"

"Shh, it's ok." I bend down and pick her up. She feels lighter.

I hear a cough from behind me. I'd forgotten about Daisuke! I stand up with  Kara in my arms and look at him. "Daisuke, I-"

"You fucking well had better be able to explain. This," He waves his arm vaguely, "_Thing appears out of no where and you treat her like a sister! What's going on?"_

"S-she's just a friend." I look at the floor.

"A wooden friend?"

"Yes."

"A wooden friend than can talk?"

"Y-yes."

Kara looks up at me, confused. "Ken-chan? Who is that?"

Daisuke steps over and takes her out of my arms. She stands on the ground, trembling. A tear falls down her face.

_Oh, Ken, look what you did._

I know he's joking. But I feel guilty.

_I-I didn't mean to…_

Kara's crying silently now. Daisuke just stares at her. "How…can she-?" He says uncertainly.

"She's like a real girl. Just made out of wood."

*

Now I'm freaked out. It's like he's seen this girl loads of times before. "Ken." I take a step forward, almost threateningly, although I don't mean it to be. The girl thing obviously thinks so anyway. She jumps in front of him and sticks her arms out protectively. 

When she talks again, her voice is freaky, deeper. Not like it was.

"Keep away from him you bastard." She growls at me. Five long claws shoot out of each of her hands. "If you hurt him…I'll kill you."

Ken reaches out and touches her gently. Her expression softens, and she rugs him round the waist. 

"I'm so sorry, Ken-chan, I didn't mean to! I thought he was going to hurt you."

*

She…She's hardly ever been like that. Only once before when…

_You don't like thinking about that, do you?_

_..._

"I-It's ok, Kara, he's my f-friend."

_Goodness me, was that a stutter I heard?_

_I just slipped on the word._

_I don't think so._

He breathes deeply in my ear.

_I think you love him, don't you?_

_I-I wouldn't tell you!_

_Admit it for fuck's sake! You love him!_

_I love him, there you satisfied?_

_…For now._

Kara grins at me, then at Daisuke. "Oh good!" She cries. She grabs Daisuke's hand, her attitude towards him totally different and shakes it. "My name's Kara. This," She jerked her head to the side. "This is Tekki, my sister."

"Where?"

"Here, silly!" She giggles, and points to her left side. Daisuke's eyes widen slightly. Kara laughed, and ran back to me. "Where are we going, Ken-chan?"

"Er, how about climbing the big tree on the other side of the park?"

"Yeah!" She looks so happy. I'm sure she'd jump off a bridge if I told her to. "Can we all go, all five of us?"

I don't properly realize what she's said. "Sure we can."

"Excuse me?" Daisuke looks at me oddly. "Five?"

Kara runs of to him, and I freeze in horror. "Of course! Me and Tekki, and you and Ken-chan and-" I try to stop her but it's too late. "And Kaiser-san."


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

//One month ago//

Ken stares out among the rubble. It's still smoking in places, even after a few days. You might say he's returned to the scene of the crime. He kneels down and takes a hand full of sand. He watches it fly away into the breeze. Just like Wormmon. Ken grits his teeth. It hurts to think about Wormmon. He begins to walk closer to the base. He doesn't know what for. Maybe he can destroy a part of the base, and so destroy a part of himself. 

It's hot inside, and very dark. There's a musky, rotting smell. It's eerie; Ken doesn't like it. Even in the mess, he can find his way to the control room. As he enters, a chill hits him. This was his home away from home for ages, and it holds bad memories. Ken shivers. This place drove him to the brink of insanity and he decides coming back hasn't helped. A few of the screens have fallen, smashed into glass on the stony floor and the rest have cracked. Ken reaches out, and a control panel still appears in front of his hand, but it flickers, then dies. He looks towards the chair. He wants to smash it up, but he can't. One of the arms is hanging off the side limply. He can almost see his old self sitting in it. 

"You _can see me Ken."_

Ken stumbles back, hitting the wall, invisible now in the darkness. He stares at the chair, but the figure doesn't move.

"I've been following you Ken. I drew you here."

The voice changes place, now it comes from the ceiling. Ken glances at the ceiling; nothing. His gaze comes back down, and the figure is standing bare inches from him. It's him. It's the Kaiser. He tries to yell, but a gloved hand clamps down on his mouth to stop him. The Kaiser puts a hand to his lips and says "Shh, Ken. Not yet."

Ken begins to sweat. The Kaiser bites his other glove, pulling it off his hand. He drops it from his mouth to the floor, then runs the back of his hand down Ken's cheek. Ken tries to back away, but there's no where to go. The Kaiser's hand is like ice.

"Feel that Ken? You'd better get used to it. As long as I'm here, that cold will be in you, it will freeze you. And by the time I'm gone…Well, you'll be in no fit state to worry then."

He pulls his hand away and leans it on the wall behind Ken's head. Ken gasps for air. He brings his head up, staring into the empty blue eyes of the Kaiser.

The Kaiser takes his ungloved hand and places it under Ken's chin, smiling wickedly. "Don't scream."

He forces Ken's head towards him and kisses him roughly, pushing his whole body against Ken, so he can't go anywhere. Ken tries to scream as he feels an intense pain fill him, so much so that he almost collapses. Ken feels himself glowing, although his eyes are scrunched with the pain. Suddenly, the pain and the light are gone, and his eyes flick open. There is no one there.

Ken feels heavy and tired. He rubs his eyes and looks back around the room. The chair has been tipped over, one of its wheels still spinning. He decides he imagined it all, and runs quickly out of the base, never wanting to come back.

*

At home, Ken's parents are still very worried. Their son has been in a daze for days, after he came back. He hasn't told them anything about the months he was away, and worst of all, he barely seems to notice them. He's been off school for a while, sitting in his room, staring. It scares them a little. Ken was never the closest of children, but now they seem to have lost him all together. 

When Ken arrives home, his mother is crying and his father is trying to comfort her. He vaguely registers the tears, but he doesn't know who these people are, so it doesn't matter. All he knows is that they live in his house and they feed him and talk to him, but the things they say don't make much sense. They talk about Osamu. How do they know about Osamu? Ken thinks. He decides they must be looking after until he re-adjusts to the real world.

Ken dismisses dinner, which causes his mother to cry again. He hasn't been eating much lately. He goes to his room and lies on the bed. He tries to go to sleep, but something at the back of his mind is nagging him.

Ken suddenly has a strange idea. He switches on his computer and opens a blank page. His fingers hover over they keyboard, then he types:

Who are you?

A pause. The cursor flickers, waiting for him to type more. So he does.

What are you? Where do you come from?

Another pause. This time, a reply comes.

_I am Chaos. I am the beginning and end of anarchy. I am not human, I am not animal, I am not mineral. I come from another place._

Ken's hands begin to tremble. He is scared because he doesn't know who is replying. He starts to write again.

Can you explain what you mean?

_I can put it in more words, but I cannot 'explain' as such. No one can 'explain' what is not known._

He waits, but no more is written. Ken thinks at first, this could be the Kaiser, but the Kaiser doesn't talk like this. He decides to try and get some answers out of this creature.

Who am I?

_Perhaps a better thing would be to say 'What am I?'_

What am I?

_Again, I cannot explain that in detail, but I know this. You are the light and the darkness. You are good and evil. You are life and death. You are that which creates and that which has the power to destroy. You are god and the devil._

This confuses Ken. But an idea comes to him, and after trying to analyze what he has just been told, his fingers begin to work again.

If I ask, will you answer?

_As best I can._

What or who is he? Is he a friend or an enemy? Is he death, or am I?

_He is you. He is only what you are. If you are death, he is death._

Is he dead?

_Are you dead?_

No. 

_Then neither is he._

May I ask some personal questions?

_You may ask what you wish. I may not be able to answer, but you may ask as you please._

Are you alone?

_I have my daughter._

That's an indirect answer.

_It is. I shall say then, 'My daughter keeps me company, but I am alone. She is alone. We are all alone.'_

Is he with you?

_You are not with me. He is not with me._

Who is 'he'?

_He is you._

Ken needed this information badly. He tried to rephrase his question.

If he is me, then why don't you address me directly?

_He is you. He is not you. You are one, yet you are alone. The way things work are confusing, but perhaps all will become clear in time._

How can he be and not be me?

_As before, that is one thing that I cannot explain. You must learn to accept, and not always to question._

Is curiosity a bad thing?

_You would be best suited asking you friend Koushiro about that._

Ken froze. If this thing knew about his friends, what was it? He still needed more answers. He didn't know how much time he would get talking to this thing.

Can you see me?

_Yes._

Can you see me now?

_No._

Why?

_He is not with you. He is trying to reach you, but you are trying to block him. So you are at a stalemate. He will get to you eventually, I will see to that._

Ken wrote his next question very carefully.

…Are you god?

_If one wants to be god, one can be. You are god. You are the devil._

How can one become god by simply wanting to be?

_Not simply wanting. The being must act upon their wish. You had control over life and death. You created a living beast. Therefore, you are god._

Is there more than one god?

_If there chooses to be.___

Ken read this sentence several times. Somehow, it didn't seem quite right. 

Are you implying that 'there' is a living form?

_Even fate can be ruled by Chaos. If I want to change fate, I will. If fate can be altered, then surely it must be 'living' in a sense? If I can bend it to my will, then is it not a being that can be manipulated?_

I see your theory, but fate does not breathe, it does not grow or move.

_The earth does not breathe, but the earth is living. And you are wrong. If fate changes, it grows. If a person meets some one by chance, this is fate. If they purposely meet them again, this is not chance. Fate has been changed, and it learns and grows off this new knowledge. But…Are you sure you should be asking me these things?_

Are you leaving?

_Yes. I will go now. But you may speak to me any time. Not just on here. When he reaches you, simply ask him. He will contact me._

How will I speak to you?

_When the time comes…_

Wait! Who is he? Is he the Kaiser?

But it's gone. Ken stares at the screen for a while, but, as he thought, nothing more comes up. He reads their conversation a few times, saves it, then lies on his bed. He glances at his clock. 9:48. He decides to try and get some sleep, then tomorrow, he'll try and talk to that mysterious person again. Slowly, he drifts into a restless slumber.

*

Ken has a very strange dream that night. He is standing alone in a dark room, where he can hear wood being chopped in the background. There is a sheet of glass in front of him, and instead of his own reflection, he can see the Kaisers. He places his hand upon the sheet; the Kaiser does the same. He puts his ear to the glass and listens hard. At first, he can only hear his own heart beat, then another joins it. 

He begins to push against the glass, trying to get more space on his part of the room, but the Kaiser is pushing back, and he can't. The Kaiser is stronger than him, and his space gets smaller and smaller. He is nearing the wall. He is going to be crushed. But at the last second, he gives an extra bout of strength, and pushes the divide back from him. He steps back. His space is smaller than it was. In fact, it's tiny. The Kaiser smirks at him annoyingly, the reaches out his hand and it slips _straight through the glass! Ken gasps as the Kaiser moves his whole body through the panel and into Ken's side. Ken feels himself grow weaker and begins to fall to the floor. The Kaiser is laughing. Laughing at him._

*

Ken awakes with a start. He is breathing hard and his pillow is damp from sweat. He looks at his clock. 5:36. He decides not to go back to sleep and goes over to the computer to switch it on. His arm feels strangely heavy. He pulls a chair over and begins to type like he did last night.

Hello.

_Good morning Ken._

Were you asleep?

_You did not interrupt me in anything, if that's what you mean. I was merely resting. I am always free to talk to you…Hmm, I see._

What? What do you see?

_He has reached you then._

What do you mean?

_I mean what I say. I cannot put it any other way. _

So…what was once two is…now one?

_You were never 'two', but now you are not 'one', so no, you are wrong. A spirit is not counted as one alone, but two spirits in one body is not two. _

Whose spirit has joined mine?

_Your other half.___

You said I can reach you through him. Is he with me?

_He is everywhere he wants to be. He is with you now._

Can I see him?

_Yes, he is standing behind you._

Ken does not turn around. Instead he begins to breathe heavily. He knows what he will see if he turns around.

Should I look?

_You will be forced to eventually. You cannot escape him._

Ken shuts his eyes and takes a few more breaths. He swivels his chair around but does not open his eyes. 

"Ken-chaaaan, what are you doing?"

His opens his eyes. He had been right. It is like he is looking into a mirror at his old self. This Kaiser is not the tense, sleep deprived maniac he had become, but the arrogant child he had began as. What is this? Is it another chance to correct his mistakes? He doesn't think so.

_You will learn what he is for soon enough. _

"Who are you talking to, Ken-chan?" The Kaiser looked over Ken's shoulder then yelped and ran to hide in the corner of the bed. Ken, who was remaining surprisingly calm about all of this, asked:

What's wrong with him?

_Ignore him for now. You need to ask more questions._

Why?

_I am trying to find out all about you, as you are me. Simply observing you is not enough._

Am I some kind of experiment?

_No, no. You are the key to my success. This is no mere play time. _

The key to what? What are you trying to do?

_Rephrase that question._

…What is your purpose?

_No one knows the meaning of life. I cannot truly know what I am here for._

What are you doing with your life?

_I have taken the life of another into my own hands. In a way, I am trying to reenact someone else's life, with one difference. She failed. I will not._

What did she fail at?

_Her duty.___

What was her duty?

_The thing she wished for most in the world, the thing she needed to become her own god. _

Ah, you seem to like talking about gods.

_…Yes, I suppose I do. __But that is irrelevant. Ken, there are some very important things I must say before I go._

The words come thick and fast now and Ken struggles to read as she types.

_Firstly, do not try to ignore him. He will not go away. He will get stronger as you rebuild your life. Second, try and get all your affairs in order. You will be going somewhere soon. Thirdly, finally and most importantly, you MUST realize your feelings. When the time comes, I want to give you at least a fighting chance, but in order to do this, you have to look into your heart. Do not shy from what you find, even if at first you don't like it. But even finding them is not enough. Express them Ken, pour your heart out to the world. _

_I don't know why I am telling you this. Perhaps the black in my heart has not quite consumed me yet. Remember those things Ken, remember them well. In the mean time, do not try and talk to me again. I will contact you soon._

The writing stops. Ken re-reads the last message several times, saves their conversation and closes the computer down. He looks over at the Kaiser, who is still shied away from the computer. He closes his eyes and a strange, unpleasant thought comes to his mind. It does not scare him, and this itself is strange, but it makes him feel uncomfortable. He sighs deeply.

'I'm going to die soon…'

…To Be Continued…

A/N – I've split this chapter into 2 parts, because I wanted to post something up and otherwise it would be too long and take too much time to write.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three  
  
A few days have passed. Ken is growing used to having the Kaiser go everywhere with him. Ken has noticed a change in him, as he himself changed. But the Kaiser seems to be slipping away much quicker. Ken tries not to see it, even though he knows he can't avoid it. He tries to think of other things instead.  
  
Several times now he has tried to contact the mysterious person on his computer. Each time, nothing. He asked the Kaiser about him, but he refused to talk. But Ken will be seeing her much sooner than he imagined.  
  
Ken is in school. Suddenly he feels faint. He keels over, hitting his head hard on his desk in the middle of class. He does not see, but the Kaiser's dim form flickers in and out of view. All Ken knows is blackness.  
  
He expects to wake up in the sick room, maybe even in hospital. However, the reality is far from it. He finds himself in the digital world, cold and alone. His head is throbbing. The Kaiser is sitting opposite him. His face is strangely somber and his position mirrors Ken's. Ken starts to get up, but the Kaiser shouts at him to stay. He is surprised by the outburst and does so.  
  
He notices it start to get foggy. His heart begins to beat faster. He can feel the presence of someone else, besides him and the Kaiser. Ken whirls around to be face to face with the most beautiful creature he has even seen.  
  
She is crouching down to be with his sitting level. Her face is pale and her lips are red and her hair is a beautiful golden blonde. It shimmers in the fog, making it seem like she's glowing. Her eyes are blue and so soft Ken thinks she could never hurt anyone. She is barefoot with a silver chain around her ankle. She is wearing a white dress that is almost like a petticoat and she has a jacket made from pure white feathers. Ken is stunned by her beauty and as she reaches out her pastel hand he clasps it. He is afraid of crushing her frail-looking fingers, so he loosens his grip until his hand is just brushing against hers.  
  
Then she speaks, and her voice fills his mind with a thousand thoughts. She sounds like the wind, the sea, a choir, every beautiful sound that ever existed. But a warning siren is blaring in his mind. 'Don't trust her!' it says, over and over. And then she speaks.  
  
"You are Ken Ichijouji." She says. "And I am Kaosumon. Pleased to meet you at last."  
  
*  
  
Kaosumon leads him through the dense forest. Occasionally, she looks at Ken with a melancholy look upon her face and strokes his cheek lightly.  
  
"You are quiet. Not like when we spoke on the computer." She says, her voice singing a lullaby in Ken's ears.  
  
Ken starts to say something like 'I have nothing that's needs to be said.' Except those were not the words that spilled from his mouth. "I am.humbled by your presence." He trips over the words, as if he has forgotten how to speak. "I feel.so.overwhelmed.Kami- sama." He nearly stops in surprise as the last words stumble from his dry mouth.  
  
Kami-sama.Kami-sama.  
  
She is a god.  
  
Ken gasps and turns his head. For the first time, he has noticed the Kaiser walking behind them. He looks like he wants to run away, but is being held back; dragged like a dog on a chain.  
  
And.she is.  
  
The Kaiser turns away, and for a moment so short Ken hardly believes it, it looks like there are tears in his eyes.  
  
How the mighty have fallen.  
  
The words dash through Ken's mind. He wonders what kind of creature this kam.this Kaosumon is. How much fear must she have placed in the Kaiser's mind to bring him to tears. This potent figure, ruling over an entire land, crushing any opponents, who was barely fazed by resistance, by the image of a devil.by the insanity in his own mind.is now.  
  
The next time Kaosumon strokes her feathery fingers over Ken's cheek, he shudders.  
  
After what seems like years, they reach what Ken presumes is Kasumon's abode. It suits her; a beautiful paradise, white and pearly and shining, every part of it gleaming even without sunlight. But as Ken moves closer, he notices things which make him fear the god or demon before him. The air is cold and damp. A light fog hangs over the walls. It makes him shiver, though both Kaosumon and the Kaiser seems unaffected. Ken thinks the Kaiser must have been here before. He listens hard, but he hears nothing but their feet upon the ground. There are no birds or animals in the trees, and all the plants covering the white palace are dead, brown and shriveled. This is not a kingdom. This is a place of death and suffering.  
  
Ken own will seems to return to him. He stops, trying to go back, except his feet are stuck to the ground and he can't remember the way. Kaosumon looks angrily at him. It is the first time he has seen here do anything but smile. It scares him, so he carries on following her into the palace. Ken shivers as he enters. His breath forms a mist on front of him. It is colder in here than outside. He notices, the second he steps inside, that the Kasier's form becomes more defined, stronger and less blurred. He feels suddenly weak, but it passes in a second.  
  
They stop in a large room and Kaosumon and the Kaiser sit at the two chairs at the head of a table. The Kaiser slips his gloved hand into Kaosumon's delicate fingers, visibly so that Ken can see it. Ken seats himself at the other end of the large table, since there are no other chairs.  
  
"Ken." The word echoes around the room. "You will not stay here for long. I will tell you what I plan to do with you, then you will leave." Despite this was an order, Kaosumon's voice stays as butterfly light as ever. She continues. "Ken...It pains me...My plans may end up...destroying you. However, there is a chance you will survive." A painful smile crosses her face. "Of course, this would mean both mine and the Kaiser's demise, but I don't think you'll mind." Ken's mind is processing what she is saying, but it seemed he doesn't care. He decides in that moment he would die for this beautiful creature. He decides he is in love with her.  
  
"I tell you this because I know you won't mind. It has already begun." Kaosumon licks her lips. Ken is enchanted. "But Ken, listen to me now." Suddenly she is by his side. Ken is still captured by her lips. She takes his face in her hands. "You do not love me."  
  
"No...I do...I love you..." Ken mumbles. Kaosumon's grip tightens on his cheeks so that her nails draw the slightest trace of blood.  
  
"You don't Ken. My spell is tricking you. You must look into your heart. When you leave, these feelings will go. Who do you love Ken? You must tell that person, otherwise you will simply die."  
  
"Don't...don't care." Ken shakes his head as much as he can manage.  
  
Kaosumon lets him go and sits away from him on the table. "You care, Ken, and so do I." Her face contorts into a manic smile. "'It's not as fun if I catch you right away.'" She mimics the Kaiser's voice perfectly. "...You may go now."  
  
Ken suddenly feels desperate. He can't leave. "Please, don't make me go."  
  
She looks at him, considering. "...Hmm. You may stay for a night. One only. Then I will force you to leave. My daughter will help you. The effect will wear off in your room. Use that time to think."  
  
*  
  
Ken discovers she was right. When he is in his room, his doesn't feel weak and it no longer besotted with the beautiful Digimon. He waits and wonders what her daughter will be like. There is a knock on his door and a strange Digimon enters with a drinks tray. She is horrible to look at; it is as if she is made of wood, and has deep cuts along her arms and legs. A flimsy yellow dress covers her body. Ken presumes she is a servant.  
  
However, she comes and sits on his bed. She bounces a little, before saying, "My name is Kara. You are Ken-chan." Ken is shocked. Could this be...the daughter? She's so ugly...And she only speaks with one side of her mouth. The other is all teeth. It send chills down Ken's spine. But he recovers himself and nods. She speaks again, in a lower, more threatening voice with the toothy side of her mouth. "You may call me Tekki. If you wish." Then suddenly, she is back again.  
  
"Are you here forever?"  
  
"I...No."  
  
She looks sad. "Oh. I think I'll like you anyway. Are you one of Mama's pets?"  
  
"I don't...think so..."  
  
They continue their conversation. The girl, Kara (or Tekki) talks about all sorts of things until they begin to talk about Ken's home.  
  
"Have you got friends?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I don't. Mama doesn't let me have friends." There is no trace of sadness in her voice, as if she doesn't know what a friend is.  
  
"I'll be your friend." Ken says it before he thinks.  
  
Kara looks at him in awe. "Really? Yay! I like Ken-chan, and he likes me!" She smiles with both sides of her face in a contorted grin. She jumps around on the bed, then lies down on her front, staring at Ken. "Tell me about your friends."  
  
Ken sighs. He simply says, "I like them all very much, and I always hope they like me."  
  
"Do you know what love is?"  
  
Ken starts. "W-what?!"  
  
"Love. Mama won't tell me what it is. Please?"  
  
Ken blushes deeply. "It's this feeling...the best one in the world. When you love someone, it means you like them lots more than a friend and you want to be with them forever."  
  
She swings her legs in the air, and for a second, Ken sees her as a normal young girl. "Do you love?"  
  
"I...I guess so."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I love...just some people." Ken blushes further. He knows now he loves Kaosumon, or he did for a while at least. He remembers what she said. 'My daughter will help you.' Help him think of his heart. I suppose she is, he thinks.  
  
"Who? Tell me!"  
  
"I...I don't really know I guess..."  
  
She looks confused. Her wooden face moves in a strange way. "How can you not know? Mama won't tell me what it is, but she told me you have to look in your heart to find love. She said, uhm...She said 'The face of your love will come if you concentrate. Think of beauty and you will think of them.'. She told me to tell you that too."  
  
And so Ken tries. Kaosumon said it would give him a chance...but...he can't...remember anything else she said...Why did she want him again? He forgets. But he shrugs it off, and concentrates. First he thinks of Miyako. But he decides she is just his friend. Then he thinks of Kari. The same. He tries to shut his mind down and let it some to him.  
  
Darkness at first...  
  
Then some kind of light...  
  
A memory.  
  
Which?  
  
He is there. He can see himself. He is talking to someone.  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Please Ken! I know you'll help us!"  
  
"But...what if-"  
  
"No what ifs." Stern hands on his shoulders. "You'll make me sad if you don't come join us."  
  
Ken panics. He doesn't want this person to be sad, but he is unsure of himself. "O..okay then." A hug, tight. Something on his cheek. A kiss. A joke? Maybe. Laughing.  
  
It's getting clearer. He can see someone is the distance, running away, laughing. Who? Who is it?  
  
"Wait for me, Daisuke!"  
  
Ken jerks out of his trance-like state. Kara is staring at him. "K- Kara, could you leave me alone for a bit?"  
  
"Will I ever see you again?"  
  
"I don't know. Please just go."  
  
She nods slowly, then leaves. He hangs his head in his hands.  
  
"Didn't you know? I knew for ages. She wouldn't let me tell you."  
  
Ken jumps for the third time that evening. He'd forgotten about his annoying shadow, who has returned to him at a most awkward moment.  
  
"Leave me alone." Says Ken with unusual bluntness.  
  
The Kaiser flicks his nose. It hurts. Ken is surprised. Whenever the Kaiser touched him before, it simply went through him like a ghost. Now he seems, and looks more solid.  
  
"Where've you been?"  
  
The Kaiser is silent. His expression is blank for a moment, then he grins and says, "So it's Daisuke then?"  
  
Ken blushes. "I...I guess so...What's it to you anyway?"  
  
"Just something to make fun of you with."  
  
Ken frowns. "Where did you go anyway?" He says, quickly changing the subject. The Kaiser remains silent with his eyes closed.  
  
"She called me. So I went."  
  
Neither of them say anything. The Kaiser sits down on the bed next to Ken. Ken is surprised to note that it dips slightly, and there are creases in the cover. "She is...beautiful. Isn't she?"  
  
Silence again.  
  
"Even though...Daisuke...I think I like her too." Ken sighs. He doesn't see how knowing his feelings will help him if all he can think about is Kaosumon. He gets up from the bed. "I have to go."  
  
"...She will kill you. She will torture you and break you until you can't take it anymore, and then she will kill you." The Kaiser's voice is barely audible, and not recognizable as his own. Ken pauses, then leaves.  
  
*  
  
Over the next few days, Ken is visited by both the Kaiser and Kaosumon, but he does not return to the digital world until 5 days after he first did. Once more he is taken to her forsaken castle, and once again he talks to her daughter.  
  
"I really like roses, don't you Ken?"  
  
"Hm? Oh. I guess so."  
  
Kara grabs his hand and pulls him towards the door. "Mama has lots of roses! Come on, come and see them!"  
  
She leads him around the palace. He sees places he has never been to, yet seem to be in his memory. The Kaiser is nowhere around him. Kara leads Ken down a great glass corridor, shimmering in the sunlight that shines through the dead trees of the grounds. She takes him down a stone stairway and into the gardens.  
  
For a moment, Ken cannot move or speak for the beauty. It is such a contrast from the cold interior and dead exterior of the castle. It is not actually outside; hard walls surround the colour of the flowers and the ceiling is arched. Ken takes his shoes off so he can feels the grass on his feet and lets Kara take him to the rose patch. She pushes aside a willow and he walks into a small grove with a pond and a fountain, surrounded by beautiful roses, red, white, yellow and pink. At the base of the fountain is a wreath of perfect black rose heads.  
  
"They're so pretty! My favourites are the red ones."  
  
Ken inhales deeply. The smell of all the flowers hits him like some kind of drug. He wanders lazily over to Kara and looks at the red roses. His mind is hazy, he cannot seem to process all his thoughts.  
  
'Blood,' he thinks, 'they look like blood. I bet she would like them. If I give her one, maybe she'll like me more. She'll love me if I give her flowers.' He leans down and puts his fingers around a single stem, then plucks it gently.  
  
By the time Ken returns to his home tomorrow, he does not remember much of the previous day. He remembers Kaosumon tried to hurt him, and that Kara went bad and hurt her back, trying to protect him. He remembers seeing Kara ruined, splinters of wood piercing the flowers and blood mixing in the pond. But apart from that, nothing.  
  
He is now in his bed. He knows his parents. Everything about his life before Kaosumon has come back to him. The Kaiser is with him. Occasionally, he goes to her, but stays with him mostly. He is becoming harsher. Although he has returned to his translucent state, he verbally abuses Ken almost everyday, making him feel small and useless, and Ken finds he can no longer walk through the Kaiser like a ghost. He is solid. Kaosumon's warning about his true feelings lies forgotten. Until one day, one month later, when Daisuke takes him to a park and Kara comes back, fully restored, into his cold arms. 


End file.
